Obviously there are shades of politically incorrect food - Foie Gras and the like being at the extreme end of the scale. But honestly, are you really going to tell other people what to eat? Where do you stop with that philosophy? In order to be consistent in your approach you’d have to tell people how to behave in public, what kind of jobs to choose, which mode of transport to take, and which side to dress on (one for the gentlemen). What am I, your mother? Work it out dumbo.

Next you’ll be telling people which party to vote for. But what if you, like most vegetarians, have extreme right wing views? That’s a good way to lose friends.

I always hated that Billy Joel song where he says this is my life go ahead with your own life leave me alone. Think it’s called 52nd Street. But he has a point. Leave me alone.

Wonder if there’s a vegetarian equivalent of Foie Gras. Would probably involve stuffing pumpkins or something and therefore be considered cruel by many veggies.

Maybe I could start a new political party. Non-Fascist Vegetarians. Not likely to get much support from meat-eaters though. And other vegetarians wouldn’t know what non-fascist meant.

- George

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As you can see from the picture the results turned out just fine. It was actually quite a thrilling process, about as thrilling as vegetables can be, because pumpkin growth is pretty dramatic. These babies grow from seed to triffid in a few short weeks and they’re no respecters of garden boundaries, as my neighbors will testify.

To watch pumpkins grow is to study all of nature in a microscosm, albeit an XL-sized microcosm. They have a short little lifespan that belies their mammoth proportions, but in that lifespan you will see an array of grand design functions in action. And this may be one of my more controversial theories, but I think pumpkins are smart. 

By way of evidence for such a sweeping and frankly silly statement I present the following:

• Exhibit A: Pumpkin plants don’t like to be watered directly, preferring to stretch their roots out to find water and thereby extending those roots. In order to protect themselves from rain and divert water to the area surrounding the plant they send up large, parasol-style leaves to act as umbrellas, not only around the plant base but also above each individual fruit.
• Exhibit B: As a large, trailing plant with heavy vegetables attached, pumpkins realize they’re going to need support to stop everything thrashing around and possibly breaking the connection to the fruits in the event of a storm. So they send out secondary shoots along the trail whose only function is to wind themselves around anything handy - in my case, railings, other plants and the occasional chicken – and provide the utmost stability. Try moving a pumpkin trail mid-season and you’ll see it’s not so easy.
• Exhibit C: Pumpkins have the most humungous flowers I’ve ever seen, attracting bees from as far away as Jupiter and ensuring their pollination.
• Exhibit D: The plants realize there’s so much eating in the individual fruits, they ought to do something to prevent all that food going to waste. So they gave them a mild, vaguely sweet flavor that made them versatile enough to use in both savory and sweet dishes. (Nothing does go to waste in the Armstrong kitchen, even the seeds. Some of these are retained for next year’s crop, the remainder are seasoned up and baked for a tasty snack. Smart pumpkin. Knew I liked snacks.)

In the wild, left to their own devices, unclaimed pumpkins would degenerate into a compost leaving only the seeds behind. Then the whole cycle of life begins again. I think that’s pretty smart, don’t you? Happy Halloween.

- George

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A major portion of my blog is dedicated to the subject of Eating Out Vegan. To me it’s one of the hardest parts of adopting a vegan lifestyle: you want to avoid all animal products but you don’t want to be a complete shut-in and never go out to dinner with your friends/family again. Enter the vegan nightmare: FAST FOOD.

Being free of meat doesn’t make something vegetarian. Until I visited a restaurant in Asheville that proudly advertised that their tofu and tempeh were cooked on a separate grill from the meat, it never occurred to me that it had ever been done otherwise. Think of the most vegetarian-friendly non-vegetarian restaurant that you love to visit. Two of mine are what could be termed “upscale” bars. Both feature wonderful housemade veggie burgers. I’ve never asked – I need to ask – whether or not these veggie burgers are cooked on the same grill as the beef and elk burgers. The answer is probably, “Yes.”

Okay, you know about that. You’re a paranoid vegan. Good! Here’s a doozy from my recent road trip and example of why the safest vegan is a paranoid vegan:

I stopped at a Subway around Noon on a Monday afternoon. I don’t eat at Subway unless I have no other choice (as in not eat at all) because of the way they have no problem going from the meat sandwich in front of you to making a vegetable-only sandwich without changing gloves. That day I had almost 2 hours to go and I couldn’t make it all the way to Asheville on the bag of potato chips I’d just eaten.

The women in front of me got the standard lunchmeat subs. Then there was the guy directly in front of me… who ordered a meatball sub. Everything was fine, the worker’s gloves never touched the meatballs, I was in the clear. Then I realized a pattern. She cut every sandwich with the same knife. And there was a giant meatball sub in front of my sandwich on the board. I’m not going to lie: I freaked out a little.

My solution: have her not cut my sandwich. She was a little confused when I asked her not to but she went along with it. Problem solved, right? Oh yeah, they have to cram the stuff on the sandwich inside the bread to close it. Guess which knife she used to do it? Sure she wiped the knife between the meatballs and my pile of veggies but she didn’t CLEAN it. The scary thing is that it honestly wouldn’t occur to her why that subtle difference made the sandwich not even vegetarian let alone not vegan.

Two recommendations for eating out vegan:

1. BE PARANOID. Analyze what you’re thinking about eating. If it’s cooked or grilled, is it cooked separate from the meat? Did they use chicken stock to cook that rice? Is vegetable tempura vegan? (Answer: Delicious but no.) What’s in that seemingly-vegan sauce? If you don’t recognize a word, make a note to ask the waiter/waitress. I have saved myself from some regrettable meal situations by this kind of paranoia; I’ve also had some where it’s laughable how innocuous the unfamiliar term was. Your are NOT being a pain in the butt by asking the staff questions about a meal you’re interested in.

2. BE VOCAL ABOUT WHAT YOU NEED. It’s also not bad to tweak the heck out of a menu item so that it fits your needs. (Trust me, I’ve done it. Yes I feel like a royal pain sometimes. Then I remember to ask myself, “Who’s paying for this? Oh right, me.”) Examples: getting yellow mustard for your veggie burger instead of the mayo that comes with it, substituting hummus or a salad dressing for the tzatziki sauce on your falafel, no cheese on the pizza (make sure they don’t put butter on the crust!). If you feel like you’re making things particularly difficult for the waitress and cook staff, why not tip a little more on top of what you normally would?

Sometimes you will find yourself in a situation where you just can’t avoid eating Subway or a veggie burger at Burger King. When this happens, don’t panic! Do whatever you can to preserve the edibility of your food. If the worker touches your veggies with her turkey gloves and you don’t have the ability or guts (like me) to speak up and make them change their gloves, take a deep breath, let it out. It’s not the end of the world. Sure you’re a bad vegan in that moment, but that doesn’t mean you should beat yourself up. Breathe in, breathe out, move on. You made the best of a bad situation.

Remember: you don’t have to never eat out again, you just have to work harder at it.

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Although some of the writers here are nutritionists or health professionals, most are just everyday non-meateaters like you and I sharing their experiences of vegetarian life. Some are recent converts detailing their struggles with the diet, others are dyed-in-the-wool lifetime veggies. But each account is full of unique insight and wisdom gained from personal experience of vegetarian life.

The accounts are divided into 10 categories: General Tips, Weight Loss for Vegetarians, Health, Nutrition, Dealing With Non-Vegetarians, Mind Body & Spirit, Vegetarian Kids, Vegetarian Pets, Weight Training for Vegetarians, Ethical, and Social. Here are some sample post headings:

• Observations of a New Vegetarian
• Talking to the Vegetarian Sceptics 
• Quit Worrying about the Protein
• Was Jesus a Vegetarian?
• Raising a Healthy Vegetarian Teen
• Can your Dog Be a Vegetarian?
• Why Vegetarian Shoes?

..alongside around 70 other accounts. So whether you’re a meat-eater considering trying the vegetarian diet, a vegetarian thinking about going vegan, or a lifelong vegetarian or vegan, you’ll find Vegetarian Experiences consistently entertaining, illuminating and inspirational. Get your free copy now!

- George

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I quickly dispensed with A through to F as there were only a couple of dozen entries that received the thumbs-up. I was disappointed to see that ‘Fat Bastard’ did not make the list. Not that I was particularly fond of their wine, but it would have been nice to have somebody else around the house with that name.

Midway through G - L however, I encountered my first hurdle when ‘Hip Chicks Do Wine’ stated categorically “We only use bentonite clay for our fining.” I had no problem with this as a statement of fact, I just had no idea what it meant. I realised I needed assistance and contacted Jason from Team Barnivore in Toronto. I asked him if he’d like to write the post as I could see my challenge could take some time and there were a lot of thirsty herbivores who needed to know the facts. Besides which, I’d lost interest after getting stuck on the letter K.

A month of silence passed (at least from Barnivore, it was quite rowdy chez Armstrong), by which time I was well through M - R and ready to set about S – T. Finally I received word from Jason, who was able to report that he was still alive. Bless him, the poor man explained that he has a full-time day job and it had taken this much of his spare time just to get through the backlog of updates sent in by you boozehounds. Much as he’d like to, he said through tears, he couldn’t possibly find a minute to write so much as a salutation for yours truly.

I thanked him for his speedy reply and asked instead if he would consent to being interviewed for the post. And who knows, next month he may write back and agree to this. Providing I only have a dozen questions we may have an article for Christmas after next. But that’s a long time to wait for a drink. Therefore I decided to persevere with my challenge, strictly in the name of keeping you inebriated drones quiet.

Ploughing my way through the nether reaches of U – Z was a struggle, especially when ‘WAWA’ was so damn fine it nearly derailed me altogether. I almost had to give up and begin again at the A’s. But in the midst of this hardship I had to spare a thought for poor Jason. Not only did he have a dreadful day job to keep up, he also had to contend with the incessant tattle-taling of several thousand herbivorous drunks. At least my life wasn’t that bad.

- George. You can contact Barnivore here. But really – they’re busy, ok?

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I’m a city man through and through but I moved to a small village recently after promises of peace, tranquility and improved air quality. Nobody said anything about chickens.

As you can tell, I have no experience with these bizarre-looking beasts and my immediate thoughts were:

1. Should I be afraid?

2. Do they bite?

3. Where the hell did she come from?

My initial efforts to shoo her from the premises were met with undisguised contempt. I think she had her eye on my herb garden and began making her way down the path. I thought standing in the way might discourage her but she easily body-swerved me and continued regardless. Well, there were plenty herbs for everyone.

Once I realized I was in no immediate danger, I thought perhaps I should notify the hen’s guardian in case they were distraught by her absence. I toddled 300 yards (300 yards mind, this one’s a regular adventurer) along the winding dirt track that leads to my nearest neighbor.

Once inside the perimeter of my neighbor’s land, I saw several other feathered lookalikes and knew I was in the right place. I rang the doorbell and through the screen door I saw a small boy approach. He was the spitting image of how I expected Tom Sawyer might look, and for a moment I thought I’d travelled back in time.

“Hello!” I said. “Are you missing anyone?” He did a quick head count.

“Could be,” he said.

“Well, the guilty party’s enjoying my oregano. Is she allowed out at this time of day?”

“Oh yeah” he said, chewing on a piece of straw. (He wasn’t really, I just wanted to give you the full Mark Twain effect.)

“Ok. Well she’s not bothering me, but… is she lost?”

“No, she knows her way round here.”

“That’s alright then. If she makes her way into the pumpkin patch this late in the season we may need a search party, but other than that I guess we’re good.”

It was an interesting exchange. My mind was set at ease, but on my return journey it reset to unease. I’ve seen cats around my house and cats are the ultimate carnivores: they’re genetically programmed to hunt. Domestication and easy food have done nothing to quell that through subsequent generations. Would a cat go for a chicken? I have no idea. It was quite a big chicken.

I realized I was now feeling protective towards the little intruder and quickened my step. When I returned, she was deeply embedded in my Orange Mint and was clearly in seventh heaven. I sat back down to my martini and reminded myself that all was fine in the world after all. All the while I kept my eye open for cats.

In due course, the feathery one began to make her way back up the drive and I realized she was rather beautiful in her own freaky little way. How could anyone want to eat this?

But I guess this is the problem. If everyone saw chicken running around like any other bird, and not roasted and packed up for consumption, they’d never think of it. What we see in the supermarket is so divorced from reality, it removes from the consumer all sense of what a chicken actually is.

And what is it? A wild little beast that likes oregano and is best left alone.

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Sharon Jones from Anglesey in North Wales was diagnosed with the condition in 2007. Feeling that she had nothing to lose, Sharon decided to try and take control of the situation. She ordered a book titled ‘The pH Miracle Diet for Diabetes’ by Dr. Robert O. Young and read it with an open mind. After some early experiments with smoothies and other recipes (“definitely peel the grapefruit pith and rind off next tme….! where on earth had I read that it was the best bit! yuk!!!”), Sharon immediately found she did not need to take insulin at all with meals.

Closely monitoring her blood sugar levels over the first few weeks of the diet, any slight changes in readings were dealt with by altering her long acting insulin. But, says Sharon “by day 12 I was now using only 30% of my original long acting insulin, a huge drop from 23 units of insulin total daily TDD down to only 5 units.”

She admits for the first three weeks she was feeling very tired and was recommended to add amino acid supplements to her diet. With L-Lysene and L-Carnitine taken on alternate days Sharon noticed a significant difference. “I was now able to go out and play golf and shovel sand and cement. I felt terrific!”

At one point Sharon tried a little mealtime experiment with her non-diabetic sister, comparing their readings at specific points after they had eaten the same dish. “We had a meal with buckwheat tabbouleh. Both our readings went up to 8 at the 1 hour point then came back down to 5.5 by 2 hours. I was so thrilled!”

On week five of the alkaline diet Sharon turned off her insulin pump and has taken no long acting or mealtime insulin ever since.

Sharon even offers this sample menu:

“Breakfast
green smoothie.
handful of raw broccoli or kale
handful of raw spinach
250ml soya milk
juice 1 lemon
third of a cucumber
half a cup of sprouted sunflower seeds
2 tablespoon olive oil
sea salt
1 avocado

I eat half of this for breakfast

Lunch
I eat the other half of the breakfast smoothie for lunch, sometimes with chopped raw veggies to dip in.

Dinner
I choose from either
salad
this is made up of grated cauliflower, raw spinach, tomatoe, cucumber, sprouted sunflower seeds, grated or baton raw carrots, sprouted raw quinoa, avocado. Top that off with a dressing made with olive oil, lemon juice, fresh ginger, fresh chilli, braggs aminos (like soy sauce)

or
raw zucchini noodles (sliced on a mandoline) topped with finely chopped tomatoes/peppers chilli/ginger/soaked almonds, seved with basic spinach salad.

or
if I fancy a cooked meal, then lightly steamed broccoli/cauli/peas and soya beans with spinach salad
or
the steamed veggies with stir fried tofu slices.

Pudding (yes even pudding!)
handful of frozen strawberries, one medium banana and some almond flour. sometimes a little soya milk. Whizz it in the food processor until smooth….and eat soft homemade icecream!

Snacks
I eat a lot of almonds! I get on better with them if i soak them as they give me a sore belly when i eat so many lol. Also once a week I make raw food crackers in the food dehydrator. They are great to snack on or use for dips. The ingredients for the crackers are generally zucchini, carrot nuts and lots of flavours.”

Needless to say, Sharon has become an inspiration to fellow diabetes sufferers on the forum, many of whom are now trying their own experiments. One contributor writes: “My diet now is Green Juice in the morning, Big Salad at lunch and then a snack late afternoon like nori roll or a small salad with some seeds. I am working towards omitting all the sugary foods – sweetcorn and the odd piece of raw chocolate are all that remains.”

So would Sharon recommend eating this way to help better management of diabetes? “You bet!!!!”

You can read the full thread at Raw Vegan UK.

-George

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Here’s a challenge for you. Think about all the different ways you could misspell ‘vegetarian.’ Now if you multiply that number by three you’ll have an idea of the number of variations I’ve seen online.

Here are some of the most frequent offenders:

vegeterian
vegiterian
vegatarian
veggetarian

But there’s also:

veggietarian
vegahtarian
vejatarian

And my personal favorite:

fegatarian

Fegatarian! Didn’t even get the first letter right! I thought most people could get it from the root word, ‘vegetable.’ But it seems people have trouble with that too, vegtable and vegtible being among the horrors I’ve witnessed.

Don’t get me wrong. I can’t spell to save myself. If it weren’t for the trusty spell-check, someone else would be writing this post about me. And I realise there are a lot of people using this word for whom English is not their first language. I of course would be struggling to find the word for ‘vegetarian’ if I was in Europe or South America, let alone be able to spell it. This is a light-hearted post. Relax.

Actually I’ve been looking at the word so long now I can’t remember which is the correct version. Spell-check!

- George

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I first decided to try out veganism as a way to lose weight just over a year ago. I really thought I was fat, and my BMI strongly supported this. I decided to try it out for 30 days and see what happened from there. I really wanted to lose weight, so I stuck to the diet and exercised. 30 days later, I felt healthier than ever and was 10 pounds lighter.

But then trouble started. Knowing my 30-day challenge was over, I started to slip in desserts here and there, started making exceptions for seafood, and finally I just gave up. Over the course of a year, I went back and forth between vegan, vegetarian, and omnivore.

But all the while, I could not look at meat the same way as before. I discovered that it was not the meat that tasted good, but the seasoning. Knowing I could season vegetables just as well, I knew I could put down meat. But I couldn’t stop myself from indulging in mountain high desserts and decadent treats. When I went out to dinner, I would order an appetizer, skip the entre, and drink water, just so I could have dessert.

My obsession with dessert is why I was gaining weight, so I knew the vegetarian lifestyle was not going to solve my problem.

Around May this year I looked myself in the mirror and decided to try veganism again. On June 14 I challenged myself to a 365-day vegan challenge. Hey, it worked for 30 days, why not 365?

I am just over 3 months into my 365-day challenge. It’s the longest I’ve ever been able to last. I have an entirely new mindset about veganism this time around. It’s been about a month since I had even reminded myself I was taking a challenge. Being a vegan has become so much apart of me it just feels natural.

Some people may say, “Three months, that’s nothing. I‘ve been vegan a year (10 years, 20 years, etc.)” But we all have to start somewhere, and it starts with 1 day. If that is all you can do, just start with 1 day and work your way up. And in my personal opinion, the only way to be successful is to not stop eating the things you love. I will explain.

One day I just got fed up with not being able to eat desserts when I ate out, so I went and bought a vegan cookbook, searched around grocery stores, and googled vegan bakeries. With a little trial and error, I found vegan-friendly desserts. I tasted some of the most decadent desserts ever made, which is what The Sweetest Vegan is all about. I loved desserts before I went vegan and I still do. With portion control, I can still enjoy desserts and sweet treats. It is a testament that your taste buds do not have to suffer to be healthy. True foodies can be vegan too!

Another thing helping to motivate me is the way I think about veganism. When I first tried it, I would tell people “I am on a vegan diet”. Now I say “I am vegan”. Hear the difference? No? Re-read it. Also, I had only read one book about veganism before that first 30-day challenge. Now I’ve read multiple books, blogs, and watched my share of YouTube videos. It’s good to join the vegan community and get a broad perspective. Learning the pros and cons, hearing about others’ struggles and even the views of those opposed to it can help to motivate you and keep you focused on why you’re vegan.

I believe I’ll be vegan the rest of my life. With what I know now, I have no reason to eat meat ever again. My mission is to let everyone know that vegans come in many shapes, shades, and sizes. Some are old and some are new, and some become vegan for different reasons than others. Just remember – to be a successful vegan you have to start somewhere. Interact with the veg*n community, and with a little effort you can still eat the things you love.

For more information see The Sweetest Vegan.

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I’m not referring to the excellent recent posts by my hand-picked contributors Gazzaisvegan and Miss Poundcake, but rather to a strand of veggie blog that runs along the lines of ‘I’m a vegetarian and I’m saving the planet.’ Well I for one am delighted that you are here saving the planet for us, I really don’t know where we’d be without you.

Here’s a question. Did you have an inflated idea of your own self-worth before you became a vegetarian or is there something in the vegetarian diet that triggered this chemical imbalance? If “being a vegetarian is one of those little things you do that helps the planet,” were you born high and mighty or has the elimination of meat from your diet elevated you to a position several heads above the rest of us? Maybe you could help out the planet by being less sanctimonious? Alternatively you could exist purely on your own hot air. That would help the planet even more.

I’m a reasonable man. I know the argument. If collectively, human beings reduced meat consumption and the ludicrous over-farming of livestock there would be less in the way of greenhouse gas production. But turning this into a pious crusade which you have personally fought and won is hijacking the debate for the sake of your own self-satisfaction.

Just because you gave up meat doesn’t make you a saint. Or Superman.

- George

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