This may not be news to you, as many of you drink far more than I, but I’ve just recently discovered Barnivore’s excellent online database of vegetarian and vegan-friendly alcoholic drinks. As frontline infantry for this blog, I set myself the challenge of working my way steadily through the alphabet in the wine category and can now stand up straight long enough to report my findings to you, in the true style of Julie And Julia. Though I’m not suggesting that either of them was a hard drinker.
I quickly dispensed with A through to F as there were only a couple of dozen entries that received the thumbs-up. I was disappointed to see that ‘Fat Bastard’ did not make the list. Not that I was particularly fond of their wine, but it would have been nice to have somebody else around the house with that name.
Midway through G - L however, I encountered my first hurdle when ‘Hip Chicks Do Wine’ stated categorically “We only use bentonite clay for our fining.” I had no problem with this as a statement of fact, I just had no idea what it meant. I realised I needed assistance and contacted Jason from Team Barnivore in Toronto. I asked him if he’d like to write the post as I could see my challenge could take some time and there were a lot of thirsty herbivores who needed to know the facts. Besides which, I’d lost interest after getting stuck on the letter K.
A month of silence passed (at least from Barnivore, it was quite rowdy chez Armstrong), by which time I was well through M - R and ready to set about S – T. Finally I received word from Jason, who was able to report that he was still alive. Bless him, the poor man explained that he has a full-time day job and it had taken this much of his spare time just to get through the backlog of updates sent in by you boozehounds. Much as he’d like to, he said through tears, he couldn’t possibly find a minute to write so much as a salutation for yours truly.
I thanked him for his speedy reply and asked instead if he would consent to being interviewed for the post. And who knows, next month he may write back and agree to this. Providing I only have a dozen questions we may have an article for Christmas after next. But that’s a long time to wait for a drink. Therefore I decided to persevere with my challenge, strictly in the name of keeping you inebriated drones quiet.
Ploughing my way through the nether reaches of U – Z was a struggle, especially when ‘WAWA’ was so damn fine it nearly derailed me altogether. I almost had to give up and begin again at the A’s. But in the midst of this hardship I had to spare a thought for poor Jason. Not only did he have a dreadful day job to keep up, he also had to contend with the incessant tattle-taling of several thousand herbivorous drunks. At least my life wasn’t that bad.
- George. You can contact Barnivore here. But really – they’re busy, ok?
Inspired by one of